A lot has happened and changed since my last post. My sweet, precious, handsome baby boy will be a one year old in less than a month. He has five adorable teeth, a head full of blonde hair, and big baby blue eyes that hit straight into this mommy's soul. I am planning his first birthday party, and I am ashamed to admit I still haven't gotten out all of the Thank You's from baby gifts! Behind much?
Mitch is having a great season so far and has been healthy for the most part. He has been on the go as usual and Crue and I try to make a trip home to Birmingham and a trip with daddy once a month. So, basically I am telling you that all three of us live out of our suitcases.
I will be honest when I say I thought being a "stay-at-home" mommy would be a piece of cake and that I would have a ton of time on my hands. Wrong. I am so busy chasing this fast crawler, doing laundry, washing bottles, and trying to spend time with Mitch, that by the end of the day, there is very little "me" time. So for those out there who think I have time to waste away and hit the gym, routine mani and pedi's, and travel the U.S., that's not really my life.
The reason my mind jumped to this blog post today, is for that simple reason. Who exactly am I? I used to be Susannah Higgins, successful contestant in the Miss Alabama program, second grade teacher at Oak Mountain Elementary School, fiance'/wife to Texas Rangers first baseman, Mitch Moreland. I had "my" identity. I hit the gym when I wanted, tanned and enjoyed a pool when I wanted, loved spending time in my classroom, shopped when I wanted, was in pictures instead of behind the camera, and showered in peace and quiet.
This morning, I was well on my way to enjoy a Pure Barre class in Southlake, TX. I got up with Crue, who has been under the weather, made myself a cup of coffee, played in the floor with him, and made Mitch breakfast and coffee in bed. Did I make it to PB? Negative. Was I upset? Absolutely. Did Mitch and I have a little tiff? Yes. Which let to the title of this post.
I was actually upset that I couldn't enjoy PB this morning. I even made the comment that I just "needed me time and need to do something for myself, by myself." When Mitch asked why I was so upset, I said it was because I felt like I was losing my identity. His response was this; "You are my wife, and Crue's mom. Is that not enough?"
After a shower, in peace, with no baby banging on the door trying to just get to his mommy, it all hit me. I don't want the peace and quiet of this shower. I want my sweet boy trying to get to me. I want to have to rush this, because it is ok to just be Crue's mom. I want my husband asking me to do a million things for him before he has to leave to go to the field, because it is ok to just be Mitch's wife.
I realized this morning that I am not losing who Susannah Higgins was. I may never have the body I had while I was competing in Miss Alabama, and I may never hear the laughter coming from my own classroom, and I may be behind the camera unless we have family pictures made. But there is something that I have gained that I never want to lose; being known as Mitch's wife and Crue's mommy.
I am Susannah Moreland. Mitch's wife. Crue's mommy.